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11:23pm

Mar 8, 2008, 8:36:57 PM by ~atomicxdefeat
Journals / Personal

I am In quite an angry state, I find it funny how i go out of my way and make time to be with my boyfriend yet, he does nothing of the sort. I feel so neglected. Plus the fact that I have some other girl in the back of my head trying to get with him isnt helping.

I've been so depressed lately, and when I finally gained the courage to tell him it was if he didn't care. At first he was upset but then it subsided. I feel as if I have to hurt myself for him to realize how much i'm suffering. Maybe that was my problem as a child. when I was sad and my parents didn't care I'd hurt myself for attention. I should know better all that got me was sent to a series of shrinks. I'll try to write tonight and see where that gets me. Its hard, when you love someone so much, yet you still are left feeling lonely and unwanted. when you do everything in your power to make that other person feel so loved, and so much joy. But you are left with the empty feeling that none of that matters to them.

Its strange, its almost like a rollar coaster, I honestly thought that maybe he really did notice how sad I have been and that for the last month I have been crying out for help. He's 23.. I'm 17 .. we almost had a baby together. yet.. does he care?
does he honestly understand how I feel.

its pretty pathetic I'm asking this question.
maybe he will never understand

3 Comments

Mood: Depressed

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Devious Info

Current Residence: Ontario
Interests: music, writing, photography, anime, drawing
Favourite movie: Jackass
Favourite band or musician: bless the fall,bring me the horizion, eyes set to kill, DWP
Favourite genre of music: twostep
Favourite game: DDR

Website: http://www.myspace.com/pixiexpop
MSN: sallyxpwns___x@hotmail.com

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